Many divorces have nothing to do with betrayal or deceit. Often, they are simply a matter of people jumping in too early, not realizing that they are incompatible.
If you’re concerned about your marriage, it’s helpful to look at the traditional path that most relationships follow. This path is not about the actual steps people make. Everyone’s romantic story is unique, and plenty of non-traditional marriages have lasted. This is an exploration of the emotional path that most relationships follow, regardless of how it began.
By knowing how people connect and stay together, you can apply this journey to your relationship. By doing so, you may be able to find signs of whether your marriage should end.
The Beginnings of a Romantic Relationship
Most people know this as the “honeymoon phase.” More recently, people have also adopted the term “new relationship energy” when describing this time.
This is the time when people first meet and connect. It is full of excitement. People tend to overlook one another’s quirks and irritating behaviors during this phase. They are just so energized by the possibilities that they allow things to slide.
There is no timeline for this or any other step in this list. The honeymoon phase can last for years, depending on the people involved.
Things Get Official
This is called the “coming together” phase. At this point, people generally put labels on their relationships. They start to refer to one another as “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” or any other monicker that makes sense to them.
Generally, the couple has not yet been tested. They will inevitably hit some turbulence, leading to the next phase.
Reality Sets In
This is when most couples hit the “disillusionment” or “power struggle” phase. The façade falls away, and people start seeing one another’s true selves. They start to push back, and conflict begins. This usually happens to everyone, even in the best of relationships.
Pay close attention to this phase. If you married your partner quickly, you could be locked in this struggle now. This is the part where many relationships end.
True Acceptance
If the individuals in a relationship can truly accept one another, they may be able to enter the final phase, “co-creation.” This is where long-term couples achieve genuine understanding. They aren’t trying to change one another. Each partner is allowed to be themselves.
Concurrently, the couple operates as a team. They may be married, have financial stability, and have all the children they want. There is nothing left to “achieve.” Still, they have a common goal of remaining together as a family.
Not all relationships, however, will survive this phase. Sometimes, acceptance is also about letting go. People can truly see one another and still realize that they just can’t stay together. Ask yourself if you’ve come to terms with who your partner is. If you have, consider whether you or they can happily remain in the relationship.
If you’ve read this article, and you believe it’s time to move on from your marriage, you can call Singleton Smith Law Offices, Inc. for help. We can work with you and your spouse to help create an amicable dissolution that benefits both spouses. For a free consultation, contact us online or call us at (951) 779-1610.