Before you embark on the divorce process, one of the first things you should do is inform your children about it. It will undoubtedly be one of the most difficult tasks you tackle throughout the entire process, but it is also one of the most important. How you and your spouse break the news to your children will impact their ability to cope with it, so it is crucial to carefully plan this conversation together.
Talking About Divorce
Until this moment, your children probably never believed divorce was possible. They are also probably afraid of the impact your divorce will have on their relationship with you and your spouse. To soothe some of their anxieties, plan to have this conversation with them as a team. Talking to them about the divorce together will help them understand that just because your marriage is ending, does not mean your role as a parent will change. You will both continue to love them, support them, and spend time with them.
Having this conversation with them together might feel like a tall order at this time, but it can also help prepare you for the road ahead as divorced co-parents. Learning to cooperate now will help pave the road for you later.
Here are some tips on how to approach this discussion:
- Plan what you will say: You do not have to prepare an entire script, but it would be helpful to prepare a general outline of the points you wish to address during this conversation. Let your children know that the divorce is not their fault and nothing they did or could have done affected this decision. It might seem like common sense to you, but it is not unusual for children to feel guilt regarding their parents’ divorce. Make sure they also understand that both of you still love them and nothing can change that, including your divorce.
- Choose an appropriate time: It is impossible to estimate just how much time you will need to have this talk or how much time they need to cope with this new knowledge. To ensure the process is not rushed, choose to have this conversation during the weekend, so they have some time to ask questions afterward. Do not tell them on a school night or at any other time that does not provide a big enough window of opportunity for them to process this information.
- Expect a vast range of emotions and responses: Your children might be upset, sad, or exhibit no emotions at all. Be ready for anything and let them know that their feelings are valid. Make sure they also understand that even if they do not have any questions or concerns now, you will be ready to talk about it when they are.
Although this initial discussion is crucial, you will continue to have many more conversations like it as the months go by. Always be ready to listen and offer your support, comfort, and love.
Discuss Your Case with a Compassionate Divorce Attorney Today!
Divorce is a difficult topic to broach with your children and an even more challenging process to navigate. At Singleton Smith Law Offices, Inc., our family law team will handle your divorce case with the care it deserves, so you can achieve the best resolution for your situation.
Contact us today at (951) 779-1610 to schedule a free consultation.